• (I work in a Coffee Shop. I was on break in the lobby when a couple walks in. Directly behind them is a cute little boy in Batman costume.)
  • Me: “Oh my God! It’s BATMAN!”
  • (The boy stops, strikes a pose and starts looking around menacingly. After a few seconds, he approaches the counter.)
  • Mother: “Jeff, would you like a chocolate milk?”
  • Boy: “I am not Jeff. I am The Batman.”
  • Mother: “The Batman, would you like a chocolate milk?”
  • Boy: “Yes. Yes, The Batman would.”
  • (The couple pays while the boy sits down with his chocolate milk. He keeps a stern look on his face as he sips the drink.)
  • Boy: *sips* “Gotham is safe.”

kouharens:

IF YOU HAVE A CRUSH ON ME OR WANT TO BE FRIENDS YOU LITERALLY HAVE TO SPELL IT OUT FOR ME BECAUSE IM DUMB AND OBLIVIOUS AND EVEN IF I HAVE SUSPICIONS I WILL PROBABLY JUST BRUSH THEM OFF BECAUSE IM AN INSECURE PIECE OF SHIT WHO DOESNT DESERVE YOUR LOVE„,

Current mood

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(Source: davidisbeyonce)

lavender-blushh:

nepetaleijon:

THE KIDS BOP VER. OF GANGNAM STYLE GOD FRICKING

THEY DONT EVEN SAY HEY SEXY LADY THEY JUST GO HEYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY LADY

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(Source: easterbunnymund)

despairludenberg:

the-fandoms-are-cool:

urbanfuck:

my mother must be so proud of her lazy, rebellious, anxiety-ridden, depressed child

your mother must be so proud of her strong, smart child who lives each day dealing with anxiety and depression and still holds on

oh man wow

 this 2nd grader wrote this to the president, vice president, and a congressman. biden was the only one to respond

(Source: slothwrestling)

“If I was your lover”… Finish it in my ask.

southcarolinacountrygirl:

Watch me get none whatsoever

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I’m looking forward to not receiving any messages. 

agreed^

(Source: philophobiadisease)

castielhasthephoneb0x:

i can nt breath this old man who has like the biggest onion ever is so pr ou d of it 

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LOOK HOW HAPPY HIS ONION MAKES HIM

(Source: teambeentohell)

I want to see something, Reblog if you’re older than 13 and younger than 25.

(Source: jolllyrodger)

laurenwasplayingwithstickers:

sansawiles:

robinrealhood:

welcome to the uk where there’s currently a national debate on how people use their toilet paper

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Why is there a dog in the middle?

Its the andrex puppy you barbarian

psychoticpingouins:

48 years ago a girl said “oh fuck me” to her best friend while walking in the street, a guy who randomly passed by answered by “let me at least buy you dinner first”. I present to you my grandparents, in love since then and celebrating their 47 years of marriage today.

sluttyoliveoil:

haha if youre bored you could kiss me idk just sayin